Lots Family Sad News

Dear Family and Friends,

It is with a heavy heart that I send news to you this way but knowing email is so fast and easy I felt it the only way to spread bad news with the least amount of pain on our part.

April 15th was my first doctor’s appointment with my doctor. The visit went well but a nagging I had been having forced me to ask the doctor for an ultra sound. Seeing my distress he agreed. We knew immediately that there was a problem for we could see no baby. My doctor wanted me to be pregnant so badly that he sent me to the U for a better ultra sound. Looking back I can see that my Heavenly Father was preparing me for this because again there was no baby. I can’t even put into words the devastation Jeff and I feel at this time. But we are so thankful for our family and friends and doctors who have given us so much love and support.

I was ready to throw away all my previous pictures and ultrasounds and erase my blog when my great friends dropped me off a letter that touched my heart. “Don’t let the bitterness of this loss defeat the joys you experienced during the period in which you were expecting a child.” This changed my attitude, and I will look back at this experience with joy because for 9 weeks we were the happiest, blessed people. I wish it hadn’t ended this way because Jeff and I have longed for this baby for so long. We also don’t understand why we are not to have many children but we have not given up hope because we are not those type of people either.

On our way home from the doctor’s office Jeff asked if the movie Juno was out. I told him I thought it came out today but didn’t know if it was the most appropriate show to watch after what we had just been through. But we decided we needed a good laugh. So my dear friend went and got us the movie and we watched it and we did laugh. (if you haven’t seen the movie don’t read the rest of the paragraph it will ruin it) We also sobbed (or I did) as Juno had that baby and then I sobbed again as the baby was placed in the real mothers arms. We were left with hope that we would have another child we are just not sure how it will get here. That’s what we needed today was just a little hope.

We thank you so much for your support and prayers and ask that you keep us in your prayers for a few more days because we know what is up ahead of us will be difficult.

Again sorry for the email but we told so many people about the pregnancy we just needed to get this sad news out as best we could.

With Love,

Brittani and Jeff Lots