This is a hard post for me to write because if I am being honest it was a step that almost caused me to throw in the towel and give up on this adoption. Luckily I had Joel's sweet little face telling me to be strong and keep going. I also have a Heavenly Father who loves me and listens when I tell him I am done and its too much.
We submitted our I-800A on August 27, 2014 with the help of my local congress people they helped me get approved for a Medical Expedite. For the first two weeks of the process this expedite does not help me at all. Our paperwork was sent to Texas where it sits in a lockbox for two weeks until they cash the check and log it into the system. On September 4 we got a notification saying our fingerprints appointment would be coming soon. The expedite stated that as soon as our prints were in they would do the expedite. Our appointment notice arrived on September 18 it stated that we could be printed on September 25. I was not about to wait any longer so the next morning we got up early and were fingerprinted. I then called our officer who stated that she needed a letter from Oregon showing Jeff had no criminal record. She also told me today was her last day in adoptions so she would have to transfer my case. She said she would accept an email. So I got the email saying no criminal record so I emailed it to her she had already transferred my case. My new officer York would not accept the email and said I needed to send the letter. So Monday I scanned in the letter and emailed it to him. He said he would not accept email and needed a hard copy. I said when he printed out the letter he would have a hard copy. He did not find me amusing and said he needed it. So I overnighted the letter. Tuesday I emailed Mr York and let him know it would be there at noon. He didn't return my calls or emails this day. Wednesday I emailed him and got nothing so I called and luckily he answered the phone. He said he still didn't have the letter. I explained I overnighted it he said its a big building. I hung up very frustrated. Thursday I emailed my officer and explained that the letter arrived Tuesday at 10:16 and told him who signed for it. I again explained how sick my boy was and how dangerous it was for him to be in China without a spleen this winter. I then drove to work.
On my way to work I prayed and told my Father in Heaven of my hard week. I told him I understand Satan kicks us when we are down and I know he wants me to be negative. I explained that I have been trying to be positive and get out of this funk. But I told him I had to be honest. I was exhausted!!!! I was worn out!!!! I didn't know how much more I could take of knowing human error was keeping my boy from me. I then said Heavenly Father why when we are trying to do good does it have to be so hard???? I told him I was trying hard to trust his timeline but it was hard. I don't doubt God or the Gospel but at times life is still HARD.
I got to work and checked my email and there was our approved I800A-FINALLY. I could say the officer finally felt bad and got it done but I know that's not the truth. My Heavenly Father showed me again his love for me. He knew I was done and he helped me get through another day, another adoption step. He carried me today when I no longer wanted to walk. I am BLESSED, I am GRATEFUL, I am LOVED!!!
If you have never completed an international adoption before you will never understand how hard the wait really is. This time is so much harder because I know who is waiting for us. Before your waiting to be matched which is still hard but knowing who is waiting is so much harder. This step can take up to 3 months. We completed it in just under a month. The medical expedite did help us in this step and I am so happy for that.
Joel I am sorry I even thought of quitting, I am sorry I am weak. I promise to do better for you.
I LOVE YOU!!!
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