Trying to Find Peace

Adoption was always such a scary thing for me and it took me a very long time to come to terms with that being our next step.  But once I did I always knew my baby was in China and every other adoption I looked into just never felt right. Kian was placed in my arms and I knew he was my son but at times I feel for the time we lost with him and worry about how to share his birth story with him.  But then I remember the journey and I pray to find peace that all will be well and in time I will find the peace and figure it out so I can best share it with Kian.

This is a picture I dreamed of taking with my baby for longer than I can remember and it to this day sits in my home and I look at it and remember the joy I felt holding this miracle in my arms.  I worried about not having this with Kian until....

I saw this picture and found some of the peace I was looking for.  Its the same only age is the difference.  Its a picture I longed to take with my second child and now I finally have it.

I still think about Kian as a baby and all that I missed and I still wonder how to tell him his birth story but in time I pray I will figure it out.  Until then...

I'm going to cherish all the time I do have with him and McKade!!